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Disease as Medicine

September 16, 2018

 this is a gentle reminder (to myself) 
that chronic illness is a superpower, a door to a world less shiny and bright. 
a world where an object’s defined edges blur, swirling with the energy dancing in the space between. 
a beckoning to slow down and seek comfort, follow the trails, listen to the pain / there are messages everywhere. 
a reminder that when disease makes you feel small you’ve been here before / you’ll get through it again / what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. 
that symptoms of sick aren’t because you didn’t do enough. they haven’t returned because you ate the wrong thing or moved too little. 

they’ve returned because they’re in your blood, written into your DNA, a shared experience with the kin who came before you. 

unsure exactly how many days this flare is on but i think it’s around a week and tea twice a day helps a lot / keeps food down / work continuing / pain is only temporary. it’s hard not to get lost in fear that this won’t end soon but that just perpetuates the problem. chronic illness is a shade pulled back, a thinned veil between the brutality of the human experience and the strength it requires to exist fully in this world - simultaneously breaking you while reminding you how fucking strong you are. but strength founded in ignorance is only bliss until it manifests in your second brain so stop thinking and start listening. #diseaseasmedicine

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